My name is Jazmin :) Navy Wife as of 2/21/14. Located in LA and lovin the weather. I'm in the Clinical Lab Science program at CSU Dominguez Hills and enjoying every minute of it :) !

 

brentwalker092:

gymra:

6 packs in 6 weeks. Do each move for a minute 4 times a week.

I will just take his 6-pack if that’s ok :)

I grew up in the 90s. I grew up watching The Simpsons, Saved By The Bell and The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. We watched Saturday morning cartoons and rode our bikes to the park in the afternoon. We didn’t have cell phones so we called each other’s houses. We actually rang their doorbells instead of texting them to come outside. The Internet was no where near as big as it is now so we weren’t flooded by all the media thrown at us today. That era had it’s flaws but I wouldn’t want to grow up in any other time period.
I’m a 90s kid.

The Khool Haus (via thekhoolhaus)

One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love”   (via 2977miles)

(Source: internmarlee)

And everyone is always saying that marriage is really hard and takes a lot of work. But the thing is, when you know that you love someone, those things don’t matter. You have to push all the everyday things and the outside world away, and just enjoy knowing that this is the man who has the chest your head is meant to lie on.

Erin McCarthy, Hot Finish (via brittanynwilliams)

fairyfoolishness:

join-they-said:

Russian medical record written in cursive

wat


I’ve actually seen these at work when people want me to look at their vaccination records so I could tell them what they need to get updated.

fairyfoolishness:

join-they-said:

Russian medical record written in cursive

wat

I’ve actually seen these at work when people want me to look at their vaccination records so I could tell them what they need to get updated.